Susan's poem from US 1 Worksheets Volume 66:
Peter
You came out to me on the roof
of your apartment building in Hell’s Kitchen,
the same neighborhood where you were raised,
where you had fistfights to keep your place
on the top of the food chain, and to protect
your younger siblings.
When I met you, you were pure New York City—
direct, substantial, tough. There wasn’t a hint
of femininity in your voice or your gestures,
you were Peter, strong and solid.
I was honored when you told me, surprised too,
not that you were gay but that I was the one
you chose to tell first. You were nervous
when you started, had a beer and a cigarette.
I drank and smoked with you. You rattled off
a list of fears and I tried my best
to reassure you. Then you blurted out,
I hate Cher and Barbara Streisand! I don’t want
to listen to show tunes! I smiled but I didn’t laugh
because I knew how seriously you took
your Classic Rock collection.
I don’t want to be like that.
You wanted to be your gay, not Gary’s gay
prancing in a speedo at queer parades, not Phillip’s gay
singing Sondheim at happy hour, not Leon’s gay
wearing gold hoops and eyeliner. You simply wanted
to be you, in your navy suit with your conservative
haircut—Peter.
Susan shares her history with this poem: "Peter" was written in response to a writing prompt. I don’t remember the prompt and it isn’t important. Prompts are clunky and unreliable, sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. But worse than being unreliable, they are artificial and academic. Every time I use one, I feel like I’m starting from a deficit. I want the poem to overwhelm me, to seduce me, to scream in my ear until I have to write it down. I don’t want to scan a list of prompts and pick one. But this is what we sometimes have to do, pick a place, any place and start.
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